The following is a contributor blog from CDR Certified Coach, Stacey Abella. Stacey currently serves as a Corporate Financial Services Global Digital Innovation Strategist at ExxonMobil. Her multi-faceted 15+ career spans the spectrum from finance and sales positions with Fortune 500 companies. Today, she shares with us her insights regarding Nancy Parsons’ latest book and how it has guided her personal and professional development.
Sometimes we can go so far through life without it… And then we wonder why we haven’t quite gotten to where we hoped we would be. We can make excuses, attribute what’s going on to some external factor, to not making quite the right career choice, to choosing the path of having children instead of spending 24/7 dedicated to career. Ultimately, all of these things can – and probably do – have an impact; HOWEVER….
Then I took the CDR 3-D Suite Assessment, which gave me deep insights into my character, motivations, and risk factors when under stress. I have taken multiple assessments throughout my adult life, but this one got deeper to root than I had ever experienced.
Armed with the assessment results, I read Nancy’s book, Women are Creating the Glass Ceiling and Have the Power to End It. At that point things fell into place… that awareness that had eluded me – yet silently held me back for years. It robbed me of time with family (even if I was with them), destroying my confidence when I most needed it.
My husband told me for years that I was a worrier. I blew it off. Well, not surprisingly (after all, who else knows me better?), he was right.
In her book, Nancy features several coaches, who give some helpful tips on how to conquer worrying. Here are a couple that really helped me:
- Realize if you are a worrier and then take inventory on how much it is costing you (e.g. not being present in relationships or sleeping at night because your mind is whirring about scenarios that may never materialize.) Decide to stop it.
- Compartmentalize your time to focus on what needs to happen today in order for you to be successful. This is what I caught myself doing this morning… filling my mind with everything that I needed to accomplish over multiple days and weeks… very daunting! When I stepped back and admitted that I had been worrying, forgave myself for doing it, and then focused on what needed to be done today, I got over it!
Ending the phenomenon
The book quotes the various attributes of executive presence: connection, charisma, confidence, credibility, clarity, conciseness. Guess what? Worrying can compromise all of these! We have to leave those worrying thoughts behind!
Through Nancy‘s book, I realized that this phenomenon was not unique to me, but as a female is common for my gender. Finally, things are starting to fall into place! If worrying destroys executive presence, could it be keeping the glass ceiling from being destroyed too? Finally, here is something tangible that we can bring to awareness and decide to change… So that we are no longer held back by ourselves!
There is no productive purpose for worrying… and we can stop it, one person at a time. I want to be part of the solution for others, but can only do so when I conquer it for myself! Through awareness, dedication and forgiveness of self, I am on the journey. If you are a worrier, I hope you too will join in the quest to eliminate the glass ceiling by 2030! Set yourself free… and the glass ceiling will too!
Corporate Financial Services Global Digital Innovation Strategist, ExxonMobil